Having a perfect memory is both a blessing and a curse.
“Why fashion, of all things? And who on earth is this mysterious partner? Who did you create a partner spot for just to take a fashion class together?”
Even a simple, everyday question from Jessie brings back all the painful memories.
They feel so vivid, as if they happened yesterday.
Hyunsoo could relive his past.
Not through time travel with a time machine, but through a sort of memory journey.
Because he remembered every minute and second of the past, he could ‘revisit’ any time period just like screening a movie.
The difference from a movie was that he could feel the emotions and sensations exactly as they were at the time.
“That’s why I only recalled memories from before I was 17.”
Unblemished memories are a double-edged sword.
Recalling the happy times before age 17 brings joy. Things he didn’t realize back then, he now sees as true happiness.
Seeing his younger self, bathed in his parents’ love and growing up carefree, was a comforting sight.
Revisiting those times felt like slowly healing his wounded soul.
After his regression, Hyunsoo developed a habit of frequently recalling his childhood.
In contrast, the memories after the accident were painful even for the much more mature Hyunsoo of today.
“I wish I could erase those three years.”
Especially the first three years after being diagnosed with total paralysis were the worst.
The sharp thoughts that filled his mind and the rough emotions in his heart at that time still pained him.
“I cried a lot.”
He cried while awake and cried while asleep. It was tough to endure seeing himself burst into tears at the slightest provocation.
“How must my parents have felt?”
At that time, he didn’t have the luxury to look around. He was the most unfortunate person in the world, and he needed time to accept reality.
He didn’t realize it back then, but the ‘observing’ Hyunsoo could see his parents’ hidden efforts.
At 17, Hyunsoo was visibly withering away day by day.
Then, like watering and giving sunlight, his mother encouraged him with warm words.
“Son, it’s okay. Really, it’s okay. Everything will be fine.”
“I love you, son. Our son is the most wonderful person in the world.”
“I wish you were just moderately good. You’ve grown up so wonderfully that you’ve made sacrifices we can’t even dream of.”
When Hyunsoo silently shed tears, his mother held his hand tightly. She stayed up all night by his side, hugging him and falling asleep as if fainting.
“I didn’t know because I couldn’t feel anything. Or maybe I pretended not to see.”
Moments that just passed by as if they were taken for granted.
To not forget those moments, Hyunsoo replayed the 30 years he lived with total paralysis in his mind.
Thanks to his rapid thinking and reasoning after his regression, it didn’t take as long as it actually did.
He recalled happy memories as often as the unfortunate ones.
To remember his parents’ sacrifices. To not forget the purpose of his second life.
To enjoy the miracle of a normal daily life. He replayed it over and over again.
“Because of that, I came to know my mom and dad even better.”
As a result, he understood his parents much better than before.
Stories about his parents that were so trivial he forgot them even after hearing them, or that he forgot because he wasn’t interested. Hyunsoo dug into the past as if piecing together a puzzle.
And he met her.
Not the mom who gave birth to him, raised him, and took care of him until her last breath… but the woman named Kwak Hee-ae.
A woman that the original Hyunsoo wouldn’t have known.
A ‘meeting’ that was only possible for Hyunsoo, who perfectly remembered each trivial memory that an ordinary person would have forgotten.
[2004]
The day Hyunsoo was born.
He vaguely saw a young woman.
“She’s so pretty and clear. I didn’t know someone could smile so brightly.”
The woman, seemingly deeply in love with him, held him in her arms with a very happy face. It was warm. He felt sleepy.
“Ugh, who is this slick-looking man? Could it be… father?!”
A man stuck close, waking him up completely. This man took this woman?
“I understand why grandpa still doesn’t like father.”
He’s a total thief!
[2007]
The woman had deft hands.
She was so good at sewing that she often made clothes for him, and there was nothing she couldn’t do with needle and thread.
Hyunsoo was hiding in a corner, trying to find the snacks the woman had hidden, when the thief came in and admired the woman’s skill.
“As expected, Hongdae students are different.”
[2010]
It was a holiday, so they visited the woman’s parents’ house.
Even in his sleep, he could clearly hear the conversation between his drunk grandfather and the thief.
“You said you wouldn’t make our precious daughter suffer! All she does is take care of kids when she should be doing fashion…”
“Don’t worry, father-in-law. I will surely succeed and fulfill Hee-ae’s dream. Even though she has no choice but to support me now, the day will come when I support her!”
“You’re good at talking, just talking.”
[2019]
He was studying quietly in his room. He heard his parents’ conversation from the living room.
“Honey, let’s immigrate this time.”
“All of a sudden?”
“Yes. It’s a great opportunity for Hyunsoo, and he’s smart enough to settle down on his own quickly. Let’s find a new school for you too. That neighborhood’s fashion scene isn’t bad.”
“Oh, come on, an old woman like me studying fashion? People will laugh. My fingers are stiff now, and I’m happy as I am.”
“Don’t say that. Although I couldn’t keep my promise of not making you suffer, I don’t intend to make you give up your long-held dream. So don’t argue with your husband and go study in the U.S. again, okay?”
“Ugh, so cheesy.”
[2020]
“I’m sorry, Hyunsoo. I’m sorry, honey.”
[2025]
He was always busy studying. His mom always stayed by his side, taking care of her paralyzed son like a newborn baby.
When he had some free time while studying or sleeping, she would knit or make something with her old sewing machine, which often broke down.
“How about this, son? Mom made it! Isn’t it pretty?”
“Yeah.”
“Is it a bit tacky?”
“Why don’t you just buy bags like these? Are we that poor?”
“Wow, what an ungrateful child. I should slap you! Ugh!!”
[2035]
He fell asleep, exhausted from work.
His father’s urgent voice woke him up.
“Honey! What’s wrong? Are you sick? Why are you crying like that?”
“It’s just… If I were a bit younger, I could take better care of Hyunsoo. A few years ago, I could easily turn Hyunsoo’s body over and give massages for 2-3 hours without any problem. But now my back hurts, and my fingers ache.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, honey. I should stay home more. I should earn more money to hire someone.”
“You’re already doing so much. Our wonderful husband. Please take care of yourself while working. But am I being too selfish?”
“What do you mean? Why would you say that?”
“Do you know what pains me the most? It’s that my vision is blurry and my hand trembles so much that I can’t study fashion, which I’ve always wanted to do. Isn’t that too sad?”
“Honey…”
“I thought I had let go of it long ago, but now that it’s like this, I have regrets. I thought I was grown up, but I guess not.”
[2050]
Hyunsoo’s hospital room, where he stayed alone.
His son, not wanting to show weakness, desperately forbade his parents from visiting.
The elderly couple respected his last wish, but when they received a call from the doctor that Hyunsoo was in critical condition, they rushed over.
“Ugh…”
His son was in a semi-conscious state. His bony, emaciated figure made their eyes well up.
“Why do I remember all of this? It’s too precious to erase, but too painful to recall…”
The elderly couple lay beside Hyunsoo’s large hospital bed.
They cried silently all night, and when the time came, they desperately shouted.
“Thank you, Hyunsoo. Even though you got hurt while helping others, you lived your life helping others. Thanks to you, your father and I were treated like heroes and lived happily in the U.S. You did well. You lived so well, our son!”
“Son, don’t worry about mom and dad. Go peacefully. We will meet after death, and we will meet again in reincarnation. If you become our son again, we will surely protect you then. You suffered too much this time, so next time, we will make sure you live more happily than anyone else. I’m sorry. Mom is sorry.”
“Why fashion, of all things?”
Thinking about Jessie’s question brought up many memories.
The dream Kwak Hee-ae had to give up to live as a mother. Although she held onto it for a long time, at Hyunsoo’s final moments, she became a mother who only cared for her son. The change in ‘that woman’ was heart-wrenching.
Hyunsoo didn’t bother to explain all these complicated stories.
“It’s just… my mom really loves it.”
Jessie didn’t pry further. He just complimented, “You’re a good son,” and left.
On his way home, Hyunsoo made a resolution once again.
“I lost my ordinary daily life because I had no choice. But my mom had to give up her dream because of her own choice… because of me.”
He was determined to compensate for it. And this free elective was just the beginning.
“Rockwell handles things efficiently.”
Hyunsoo was genuinely impressed. Within just two days, he received an email from FIT with permission to audit a class and information on what visiting students needed to know.
He also received details from Johannes High School about transportation to New York and lodging information.
“Classes are once a week, on Fridays, which is convenient. If necessary, I can spend the weekend there. I found on the internet that it’s known as ‘Welcome to Assignment Hell,’ but I should be fine, right?”
After confirming that his mom was home, Hyunsoo raised his voice deliberately.
“Ah, I’m stressed.”
As expected, his mom came over with a worried face.
“What’s wrong, son? Did something happen at school?”
“Ah, I got into a highly competitive free elective course. But it turns out, with my clumsy hands, it’s a bit too much for me. Should I just give up and not be greedy?”
“What kind of class is it? My son has good dexterity, just like me. Is it an art class?”
“Art? I guess fashion can be considered art?”
His mom’s eyes widened.
“Fashion?”
“Yeah, it turns out my school has some good connections. They partnered with a school called FIT.”
“FIT?! F-I-T, FIT? That FIT??”
“Hold on, let’s pause here.”
“Yeah. There’s a system where scholarship students can audit a class at a famous school. I only applied because they said they’d cover the airfare and hotel costs to New York every week. But it turns out, it’s a fashion school?”
“Every week? They cover the expensive airfare and hotel costs? To take a class at that FIT???”
“Pause again.”
Hyunsoo paused for a bit and then continued when his mom was about to lose her breath.
“That’s right. If it were just a design class, I could manage, but it’s design and production. With constant assignments, I don’t think I can keep up. No matter how much I like New York, I should give up, right?”
“Oh? Hmm…”
His mom’s pupils were shaking.
Holding back his laughter, Hyunsoo explained the background of being able to take the class with a partner.
When he added that he didn’t necessarily have to find a partner within the school, his mom seemed to completely lose her sense of reason.
“Hyunsoo.”
“Yes?”
“Is there an age limit for that?”
“Mom.”
“Right… It’s too much, isn’t it? What am I thinking.”
“I brought it up with you in mind from the start. Let’s go to New York, Ms. Kwak. Pack your bags! You still know how to make bags, right?”
“Kyahhhh!”
His mom hugged Hyunsoo tightly and jumped up and down like a young girl.
Although she had more wrinkles now, she was still the bright woman from his old memories.
“This will probably become one of my favorite scenes to recall.”
He felt proud, as if he had successfully erased a dark part of his past.
He wished his mom could walk on a path of flowers from now on…
A little later, at the first class at FIT.
His mom whispered to Hyunsoo with a very nervous face.
“…Hyunsoo. Should we just go back?”
