Inferiority Complex(劣等感).
“Youngguk, do you know the actor Son Hwawon?”
I looked up at Kim Seonghwan, the representative, who asked this question. We had just finished discussing an advertisement contract.
It seems that they say strike while the iron is hot, as it hasn’t been long since I met Song Jeongseok, and already there’s been contact from the agency.
“Youngguk, they contacted us saying they want to meet you, saying that it’s already been discussed with you.”
“I heard about it when I met Jeongseok hyung before. Son Hwawon said he wanted to see me once, so I agreed. But I didn’t expect him to contact the agency as well.”
“Is it the actor Song Jeongseok, who you worked with on an independent film before? No wonder, Kim Manager was surprised when Son Hwawon contacted us out of the blue. But it’s a sign of good manners. He’s probably making sure you didn’t feel pressured to say yes because of Song Jeongseok hyung.”
He has always been a person of integrity.
No wonder, even when an unknown supporting actor sought advice from a lead actor, he didn’t hesitate to provide guidance on acting.
-Don’t be too anxious just because you’re a supporting actor. Opportunities will come someday. From what I’ve seen of you, Youngguk, you won’t miss your chance. Don’t give up on your acting career. There will definitely come a day when you stand in this place.
In my past life, he was the only friend and fellow actor who made me feel an inferiority complex.
But perhaps because I wasn’t good at socializing, I kept my distance from him myself.
“By the way, isn’t this Son Hwawon the rising star of Chungmuro these days? All the actors I’m keeping an eye on seem to be interested in you, Youngguk.”
“Was there another actor like that?”
“Do you know how many agencies are waiting for your exclusive contract to end? Son Hwawon might be one of them too. He might be testing the waters with you under the suggestion of his agency’s representative.”
“He’s not that kind of person. But which other actor wanted to meet me? I’m curious.”
“That’s a trade secret.”
Kim Seonghwan, the representative, made a gesture of zipping his lips with a playful expression, and Youngguk couldn’t help but smile.
“Great, please tell him to come to the set one day. I’ll be in Yongin for a while anyway.”
Most of the rising stars in Chungmuro have something special.
Whether it’s the vivid realism that exudes from the scene, the humor and quick wit that surpasses most comedians, or the acting skills that elicit exclamations from the viewers.
Among them, actor Son Hwawon’s forte is his pure and innocent charm.
“Thank you for today’s shoot.”
Though it may seem odd for a man to be described as innocent, just look at how he bows his head and greets each and every staff member.
His fair and delicate face, coupled with a simple smile like that of a country dog, makes him all the more endearing.
It’s no wonder that among female fans, his smile is often referred to as the epitome of pure love.
“Hwawon, you did a great job with today’s CF shoot. And tomorrow, you need to go to the broadcasting station for a meeting about your next project. Are you planning to stop by the shop first?”
“No, since I’m just meeting the PD and the writer, there’s no need to stop by the shop. It’s more genuine to go in my usual attire.”
“Man, Hwawon, you can say that because you look good without makeup. Some actors can’t even step out of the house without full makeup.”
“By the way, hyung, did you contact Songwon Entertainment?”
There was a clear look of curiosity in Son Hwawon’s eyes.
“I was about to tell you. Actor Jang is currently too busy with his schedule to set aside time to meet separately. Instead, they suggested that if we have time, we could visit the set. I was going to tell you later because I thought you might be tired today, but if you go to Yongin now, you might be able to see him filming.”
“Really, the set?”
“Yes, but are you really going to seek advice from Actor Jang? I think it’s unnecessary, but since you want it so much. Frankly speaking, Jang Youngguk just happened to meet the right project and soared to fame. Hwawon, you’ve already made a name for yourself in Chungmuro, and once you venture into dramas, you’ll be unstoppable. As your manager, I think you have nothing to envy compared to Jang Youngguk.”
Son Hwawon smiled at his manager’s words. He knew that his manager was saying this for his sake.
Objectively and subjectively, he felt inferior to actor Jang Youngguk.
Though he was now gaining popularity as Chungmuro’s rising star, it felt like an undeserved title.
Who would have thought that his fair and delicate appearance, which garnered so much popularity as a child actor, would become such a hindrance?
His refined and delicate looks consistently led to the same roles and the same acting.
As a result, he was now truly afraid of being typecast.
Crack.
His fist clenched involuntarily. While Son Hwawon struggled with these stereotypes, it was actor Jang Youngguk who caught his eye.
He was of a similar age, in his early 20s, and had also been acting since his childhood, but Jang Youngguk was walking a completely different path as an actor.
‘How can he act like that?’
Even through the screen, his powerful acting was palpable. Moreover, each project in his filmography had a different color.
From the nation’s first love to a fiercely intense priest and even the best libertine of the Joseon era, showcased briefly at a theater festival.
It was unbelievable. Wasn’t he in his early 20s like himself? How could he continually transform into such vastly different roles at that age?
“Hwawon, always remember what I say. The entertainment industry isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon. It doesn’t matter who gets ahead first. From my perspective, you’ll become a big star soon. Since the title of the nation’s first love has been taken, how about becoming the nation’s pure-hearted man?”
Hwawon’s manager said this as they headed to the historical drama set in Yongin.
But Son Hwawon, staring out the car window, still had only one person on his mind.
According to unofficial history, the 10th king of Joseon, Yeonsangun, occasionally summoned civilian doctors instead of royal physicians to the palace for treatment.
According to the famous doctor Yoo Ikjun from Hanyang, who diagnosed him, Yeonsangun had severe tuberculosis from a young age and wouldn’t live past 30.
But whether this was true or not, no one knows.
- Kyora, you must show yourself ascending the throne in my stead. As your older brother, I wish to take care of you and officially register your name with the court, but I cannot. While I undergo treatment in secret for a week, wear the royal robe and stand in my place.
Sweat dripped down the back of Baekjeong Lee Kyul, who was attending the royal lecture.
The unfamiliar royal robe felt unbearably heavy on his shoulders, and the gazes of the ministers were enough to suffocate him.
Of course, the only one who noticed his abnormal condition was Gyoemsabokjang Gwak San, who was guarding him closely.
“Your Majesty, as a king and the father of the people, you must not cancel the royal lecture to look after the people. In the 20th chapter of the Doctrine of the Mean, it is said that to govern the world and make the nation prosperous, there are nine virtues. Among them, one is to observe and respect ministers, understanding their intentions. Why then, Your Majesty, are you attempting to cancel the lecture?”
The ministers were all raising their voices.
It was because the king had suddenly announced that he would cancel the three daily lectures for a week.
“Since the beginning of the dynasty, there has never been a case where the royal lecture was canceled. The former king, King Sejong, held the most lectures since his reign. Yet you suddenly intend to cancel them. This is not right. Your Majesty, please reconsider!”
“Please reconsider, Your Majesty!”
“Please reconsider, Your Majesty!”
The voices of the ministers on both sides echoed loudly throughout the hall. Lee Kyul’s mind was so overwhelmed that it felt like it was going to explode.
He had learned palace etiquette with the help of Gyoemsabokjang Gwak San, but the Four Books and Five Classics, including the Doctrine of the Mean, the Great Learning, and the Book of Changes, were entirely different matters.
He hadn’t studied them in the first place, so how could he know?
Just as Gyoemsabokjang Gwak San was about to speak to the ministers, Lee Kyul stood up, his royal robe fluttering.
“Ministers, are you truly saying that the royal lectures are for the sake of the people?”
“Your Majesty, how could we speak falsely? By following the teachings of sages, we aim to govern the nation with virtue…”
“Enough!”
At Lee Kyul’s command, a Hongmungwan official fell silent.
“The main content of the royal lectures I’ve observed over the past two days wasn’t for the sake of the people. They were all attempts to teach me for the sake of the factions you belong to. To truly understand the hunger and reality of the people, it’s not about sitting here and learning from ancient sages; it’s about knowing how the country operates and what’s happening in the streets.”
“Your Majesty, such matters are reported through memorials from across the nation…”
“A single sentence can deceive many people. How can I believe something I haven’t seen? Sangchaek, bring me the memorial from Gamcheong-ri.”
Sangchaek presented the memorial to Lee Kyul. Lee Kyul read it out loud instead of Sangchaek.
“This is a memorial from the official Naju-taek of Gamcheong-ri. Due to flood damage, the crops have failed. He opened the granary to distribute food to the starving people and requested that the tax rate for Gamcheong-ri be lowered this year. Based on this memorial alone, Naju-taek deserves not only a reduction in taxes but also a great reward. However!”
Lee Kyul’s eyes, glaring at the ministers, were intense.
As a Baekjeong from Gyeolsan-gol, he had frequently visited Gamcheong-ri nearby.
Naju-taek was a corrupt official who sucked the blood of the people.
Although the crops had failed due to flood damage, he had still collected taxes and hadn’t opened the granary.
“This memorial cleverly mixes truth and lies. While it’s true that the crops failed, he collected taxes from the people and didn’t open the granary. Moreover, he sent this false memorial asking for a tax reduction. How many other false memorials might there be among those sent from across Joseon?”
Lee Kyul scolded the officials.
“I decree. Instead of holding royal lectures for a week, investigate the corruption of officials and the lives of the people throughout the nation without any falsehoods. This is the task I assign to you as your king!”
Son Hwawon stood idly in front of a vending machine located on one side of the set. He couldn’t bear to watch the filming any longer.
The more he watched, the more an indescribable emotion welled up inside him.
Though he was of similar age, Jang Youngguk’s acting was mesmerizing.
He clenched his trembling hands into fists and walked away, unable to overcome this inferiority complex.
“You’re here?”
How much time had passed? Youngguk, who had finished his scene, found Son Hwawon. Hwawon instinctively bowed his head at Youngguk’s sudden appearance.
“Hello. I’m actor Son Hwawon. I’m sorry for coming to the set unannounced. I just really wanted to meet Jang Youngguk.”
“No worries, I already heard from Jeongseok hyung. And you’re three years older than me, so please speak comfortably. By the way, it’s fascinating, isn’t it? Just ten meters away, you can see the grand eaves of the palace, but here, there’s a vending machine.”
He had come straight to see him after changing his costume.
Hwawon had a mountain of questions for Youngguk, but none of them came out.
After all, he had felt such an inferiority complex while watching the shoot. Perhaps sensing this, Youngguk spoke first.
“I heard you had something to ask me, Hwawon. Is it about acting?”
“Yes, I can’t shake the feeling that my acting is too confined. I’ve talked to other senior actors at my agency, but it hasn’t helped. Then, by chance, I watched a movie you starred in. I was amazed at how you could become a completely different person for each role despite being of similar age.”
‘He’s honest.’
Youngguk thought as he looked at Hwawon. Like how Hwawon had given him sincere advice in his past life, Hwawon was an unpretentious person.
Most actors wouldn’t want to reveal their vulnerabilities, but here he was, laying bare his thoughts.
Moreover, Youngguk knew the problem Hwawon was struggling with.
‘Hwawon hyung is probably struggling with his image right now.’
Though he was a male actor, he ironically became famous for his pure and innocent charm. This likely limited the roles he could take, most of which were similar.
Though time would naturally improve his acting and resolve this issue, it seemed it wasn’t the case for Hwawon.
Youngguk paused for a moment before offering the advice Hwawon had given him in his past life.
“I’ve actually watched all the movies you starred in, Hwawon. From ‘Dawn of the Youth’ to ‘The Ground’ and ‘Christmas in November.’”
“I’m embarrassed. I have a lot of filmography for my age, but all the roles are similar.”
“What’s there to be embarrassed about?”
“Sorry?”
He didn’t understand why Hwawon felt so ashamed.
“Many actors would do anything to play the roles you’ve taken. If you feel ashamed of the roles you’ve played, isn’t that a huge insult to the other actors and directors?”
“……”
It was then that Hwawon realized he was ruining himself with his own obsession.
The next words made Hwawon feel like cold water was being poured over his head.
“Just as a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly, acting is the same. Don’t be too tied down by the limits you set for yourself. From what I see, you’re a much more valuable actor than the limits you’ve set. You’ll break out of that shell someday.”
Just then, the assistant director signaled that the standby was complete.
Youngguk took out a cup of coffee from the vending machine and handed it to Hwawon.
“Drink this and clear your head. I’m sorry if I was too harsh.”
Ah, I don’t drink coffee. Hwawon almost said aloud.
But this warm cup of coffee felt more comforting than ever.
As Youngguk walked away, he turned back and added,
“Next time we meet, please speak comfortably, Hwawon hyung.”
Hwawon widened his eyes and gave a short nod. He looked down at the fragrant cup.
Inside wasn’t coffee but creamy yulmu tea.
‘How did he know?’
