Episode 58. Nightmare (4)
Before Kang Yera’s regression to the past.
She was unable to rise even though she wanted to. Unable to succeed even though she wanted to.
No, she couldn’t escape that life as an unknown idol, unable to even get a chance to stand on a stage to sing. She was spending her time endlessly like that.
She tried her best to uphold her belief that she must always smile in front of the camera, no matter what.
But this belief was gradually dulling as time passed.
She lost the confidence to uphold it.
Should she really continue her singing career like this?
Was this truly a meaningful act?
Her self-doubt deepened continuously.
Still, she struggled not to let go of hope.
Kang Yera struggled to somehow hold on and endure in It’s Been, the group she belonged to.
Even if she was mocked as a ‘background member’.
Recalling her father’s words that if she endured, an opportunity would come someday, she quietly entered her room in the dorm today.
It’s Been was divided into two groups: popular members and unpopular members.
There were five unpopular members, including Kang Yera.
Only the other two members were actively promoted by the agency.
One of the five had recently expressed their intention to leave.
However, due to the penalty clause, that even failed.
In the end.
“I have to stay here.”
In this place where there seemed to be no dreams or hope.
Kang Yera reached out and desperately held onto the thread of hope.
However.
Honestly, Kang Yera didn’t know what was connected to the end of this thread.
Nevertheless, she had no choice but to endure.
Coincidentally, there was a music broadcast next week.
On that music broadcast, they were going to perform a stage with a new concept they hadn’t shown before.
Kang Yera was chosen as the center for the first time.
Perhaps with that one stage, Kang Yera’s life might turn around.
This was the true nature of Kang Yera’s ‘last hope’.
“……”
Squatting on the bed, Kang Yera brought up her family’s phone numbers.
Dad. Mom, and her younger sisters.
She resolved every time that she had to succeed somehow, even if it was just for her father, who went to construction sites every dawn to provide for her living expenses by himself.
“……It’s difficult.”
Reality was tougher than she thought.
And at the same time.
It was too cold.
She thought about calling her mom, but the fact that her dad and mom didn’t have a good relationship always held Kang Yera back.
She felt that if she showed herself relying on her mom for no reason, it would seem like even Kang Yera was turning her back on her dad.
In the end, what she could choose was.
“Should I call Yebin or…… Yeyoung?”
The only people she could rely on were her younger sisters.
Before trying to contact Kang Yeyoung first.
Kang Yera attempted to call Kang Yebin.
A short while later.
Kang Yebin’s voice was heard.
―Hello.
Kang Yera’s shoulders flinched slightly at the somewhat gruff tone.
“Oh, where are you?”
―Me? I’m filming right now. Why?
“Is it that drama you said you were starting to film for?”
―Yeah. But why did you call? I’m busy right now.
At that time, Kang Yebin had quite a lot of complaints about her unnie.
Kang Yebin wasn’t a hugely successful actress at this time either. Still, she had managed to build some recognition among people and reach a position where she was somewhat known.
So whenever she met Kang Yera, she would always give her harsh advice on how to succeed in the entertainment industry, or about her attitude towards work and people.
While there was frustration with her unnie.
At the same time, she also wished for her unnie to do well.
However, this harsh method was not very effective at the time.
Because.
Kang Yera was much more psychologically cornered than Kang Yebin had anticipated.
“No······ I just did.”
This time too, Kang Yera changed the subject, trying her best not to show that she was having a hard time.
“Uh, just. To cheer you on with your filming.”
―Haa······ Don’t call me for every little thing like that. You can just text me. I picked up thinking it was an urgent call.
“It’s nothing like that. Do well with your filming. See you later.”
―Alright. I’ll contact you. And get some sleep. Your expression looked really bad when I saw your last performance.
“You were monitoring it?”
―Of course! Seriously. I can’t live because of you, unnie. That’s why you keep hearing ‘background member’, ‘background member’.
“……”
―Since you’re going to stand on stage anyway, make up your mind and do it firmly. Got it?
“I’ll try.”
Kang Yera ended the call abruptly, as if being chased.
If she had continued the call.
She felt like her current state of mind would be exposed.
She also felt like she was bothering her younger sister by contacting her for no reason.
As she was deep in thought, her manager approached her.
“Yera.”
“Yes, Manager-nim!”
“The CEO said he has something to talk about with you separately? Could you come out for a moment?”
“Huh?”
Kang Yera tilted her head slightly at the manager’s unusually kind tone towards her.
It’s Been’s manager tended to be kind only to the popular members.
When she, who clearly discriminated among members, suddenly spoke to Kang Yera in such a gentle tone, an unknown sense of unease surged within Kang Yera.
A short while later.
This unease became reality through the CEO’s words.
“Yera. Listen to what I’m saying without misunderstanding. Okay?”
“……?”
“You know we’re appearing on a music broadcast next week, right? The one where we decided to perform a stage with a different concept than usual. You remember, right?”
“Yes, of course.”
It was Kang Yera’s first chance to be the center since joining It’s Been.
There was no way she would forget.
However, CEO Ryu Hwang-jin made a ‘sseueup’ sound, showing discomfort in speaking.
But Kang Yera knew.
That he habitually made such a sound when he was forcing himself to act like he was in a difficult position.
In other words.
The words that were about to come out were likely to be a lie.
What CEO Ryu Hwang-jin said was this.
“About that, we’ll have to change the center. The music broadcast PD-nim said it would be better to put a popular member as the center rather than an unpopular one.”
An unspeakable sense of despair washed over Kang Yera.
Even if this was a lie.
The other person was the agency CEO.
Meaning, he wasn’t someone Kang Yera could firmly say no to.
In the end, she had no choice but to reluctantly nod and reply, ‘I understand’.
“Alright. Thank you for understanding, Yera.”
“……”
She wanted to release this unspeakable frustration.
Otherwise.
She didn’t know what she might do to them right then.
In the end, Kang Yera left a message saying she would go get some fresh air and headed to the rooftop.
From 2 PM to 4 PM on weekdays. Kang Yera, who already knew that the door was only open during these hours, silently climbed onto the railing.
Just then.
In the middle, a call came from Kang Yebin.
It was because she was bothered by having spoken gruffly to her unnie earlier during filming.
However, Kang Yera did not answer.
If she were to answer this call.
She felt her resolve would waver.
Kang Yera’s body, looking down at the building below.
Headed straight down.
As soon as Kang Yebin heard the news that her unnie had jumped, she dropped everything, filming and all, and rushed to the hospital.
There, she saw Kang Dae-oh, silently swallowing heavy silence with his head bowed deeply.
“Ah······.”
She tried to call out, ‘Dad,’ but.
Seeing Kang Dae-oh silently swallowing tears, she couldn’t bring herself to speak to him.
Soon, Kang Yebin sought out hospital staff and the police to find out what had happened.
The police asked Kang Yebin questions related to whether her unnie had suffered from depression normally.
After answering all the questions, Kang Yebin asked the police.
“That unnie died······ It’s a lie, right?”
Kang Yebin still hadn’t accepted Kang Yera’s death.
No, she couldn’t.
Because she had just been on the phone with her.
However, the police could only give her one answer.
“I’m sorry.”
Kang Yebin’s consciousness blurred.
“……!”
Kang Yebin, who rose from her bed, sweating profusely, immediately clutched her temples.
“It’s that dream again.”
The memory of that day remained as a trauma.
She had never had such a dream before.
Why suddenly?
The answer to this question was right on the calendar.
Because the date Kang Yera died, before the regression, was just last week.
Only Kang Yebin and Kang Yeyoung remembered this.
However, the two of them deliberately didn’t tell Kang Yera herself, or their mom and dad.
Because it wasn’t a good memory.
“……”
Was it because she had sweated too much?
Kang Yebin went down to the living room to quench her thirst.
Even though it was just an act to drink water.
Today, both her body and mind felt heavy.
It might be because she had been tormented by nightmares for several days.
No, that must be it.
When she was young, she thought it would be okay since both her unnie and she would now live new lives, but.
As she grew to an age similar to that moment, she worried if that event might repeat itself in this life.
Kang Yebin knew well.
That this was a useless worry.
First of all, Kang Yera was no longer an unknown idol.
When she was already being mentioned as the most successful female solo singer in South Korea, the idea of her making an extreme choice without even getting a chance to stand on stage was nonsensical.
Nevertheless, Kang Yebin couldn’t easily calm her anxiety.
Because the event from that time remained as a trauma.
Even if the current situation improved, the pain of the past could not completely disappear.
Kang Yebin let out a deep sigh and slowly went down to the first floor.
2 AM.
At a time when everyone was asleep, there was only one place where the light was on.
It was Dad’s study.
Did he hear Kang Yebin’s footsteps?
Creak, with a sound, Kang Dae-oh’s study door opened.
And then Kang Dae-oh appeared.
“Are you awake?”
“Yes, Dad. Are you still not asleep?”
“I had something to think about for a moment. What about you? You said you had an early morning shoot.”
“I······.”
She didn’t have the confidence to tell Kang Dae-oh the truth.
Because the image of her father despairing upon hearing the news of his eldest daughter’s death at the hospital came to mind.
“I just······ couldn’t sleep well, so I woke up in the middle. I’m just going to drink some water and go right back to sleep.”
“Really?”
She didn’t look like someone who could fall asleep right away to anyone.
Kang Dae-oh looked at Kang Yebin, then subtly suggested to her.
“Do you want to talk with Dad for a bit?”
“Now?”
“Yeah. Now.”
“……?”
“It’s okay. I’m not going to talk about anything strange.”
A talk at this hour of the morning.
It felt a bit strange, but Kang Yebin nodded and decided to accept her dad’s offer.
Coincidentally, she also felt like she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep easily tonight.
